Tales of Toilet Training

Leave it to my 2 year old to turn something like toilet training to display all of his (less than desirable) personality traits.


So Bugs wakes up from his nap with a dry diaper (yay!) so we go downstairs and he is more than excited to sit on the potty. He wants to sit on the big potty, like ya-ya. All this leads me to believe we will have success...i couldn't be more wrong.

After 40 minutes of sitting on the potty, he finally says "I done". He hasn't gone, but whatever. my butt is numb from sitting on the floor in the bathroom for 40 minutes. So I get him down and we proceed to have the most ridiculous standoff. "sticku" he tells me. (we reward him with a sticker on a chart when he successfully uses the potty.) This is how it goes:

Me: No. you didn't go potty.
Bugs: I done. sticku.
Me: No. You only get a sticker if you go potty.

now he gets mad.

Bugs: I WANT A STICKU!
Me: (still calm) No. Let's go to the living room and get a pullup.
Bugs: Sticku, please? (with the cutest pouty face and lip you have ever seen)
Me: No. Let's go get a pullup.

Now he tries to employ all his charm. He scrunches up his face and says in his "monster voice" "STICKUUUU!" I can't even describe to you how cute this is, I almost crack a smile before I tell him "No" again.

Then he pulls out all the stops. The Pièce de résistance. The silent-fake laugh. He closes his eyes, tilts his head back and bounces his shoulders like he's just seen the funniest thing ever, all without making a sound. Then he stops, looks at me and says "Is funny." I can't help it, I crack up. He patiently waits for me to stop laughing, I bend over and pick him up to take him to the living room. He grabs my face with both hands and looks me dead in the eye and says "sticku, now?"

I walk to the living room. Apparently, this 10 sec walk was all he needed to plot his revenge.

I sit cross-legged on the floor with my scheming son in front of me. I hold the pullup so he can step into it, and when it's about at his knees, he takes his revenge. He pees in my lap.